The Long Backstory of my Profile Pic

On the day this photo was taken, I was interviewing for my dream job. I had dreamed of working for this organization for years. I never thought it would happen. Never thought an opening would come up that matched my skills. Never dreamed I would even be invited for an interview. But there I was, sitting in my car, in this suit I had worn maybe twice in my life, ready to interview for THE job that would be my thing for the rest of my time on this earth. Because surely, if I got that job, I would never, ever leave.

I was nervous, but I think the interview went fairly well. On the way out I learned that over 100 people had applied for the job. Only a handful were invited for an interview. My head began to swell with pride and my heart ached with the possibility of this career dream finally coming true. I updated my Facebook profile pic with this pre-interview selfie with no caption, so people would wonder why I was so dolled up. And then I would eventually reveal that I had landed The Job.

I went home to wait (oh, so impatiently) for the call to come offering me the job. I knew it was a long shot. I knew there was some heavy competition. But there was something that told me this was right. This was it. This was my chance to secure my place in this most coveted job at the most coveted organization.

As fate would have it, I didn't get the job. Over the 25+ year span of my career, I've had my fair share of disappointments, but this one stung badly. I had already created this vision of my dream life that would unfold once I landed this job. And then, the rejection notice.

But here's what happened after that rejection. The Vice President of the organization called me up and invited me out to coffee. I was shocked. And thrilled. And confused. She said that although I wasn't selected for the job, she recognized something in me that was promising and she wanted to chat about next steps in my career.  She wondered if there was any support she could give me.

It was flattering. It helped my bruised ego to at least hear that she was interested in me. (It also helped to realize the person they hired actually was tailor-made for that position. No question.) But really, I wasn't sure what a coffee date would do for my career. But of course, I went.

Fast forward 2 years, and here's what I've learned: Never underestimate the power of a coffee date.

The coffee itself wasn't the super secret sauce. It was the chance to know and build relationship with someone that is connected and well respected in the community. From that coffee date came a referral to an organization that needed help with grant writing and fundraising. From that referral came 2 years (and counting) of contract work with an organization that I have come to love and respect. From that contract work came connection to another organization looking for help organizing some collaborative committees. That connection led me to the current project I'm working on with the Center for Mind Body Medicine, which has been some of the most rewarding work of my career.

So, in spite of the rejection, in spite of things turning out quite differently than I would have hoped, that interview in my power suit turned out just right. And here's the crazy thing. This isn't the first time a successful, well-respected woman in this community has given me a career boost. About 10 years ago, a similar scene played out with another 'dream' job that I didn't get. Someone on the interview panel recommended me for another job that I did get...and that opened doors toward the career sweet spot I find myself in today.

These women could have easily moved on after the interviews were over and someone else was selected. They could have gone about their business and wished me well. But they didn't. They stopped, took the time to think about me, my skill set, and how those skills could be put to the best use. They thought about their colleagues and connections and wondered if there might be a match. They offered their time, their connections and their reputation as leverage for my career. And for that I am eternally grateful.

I still have this power-suit selfie as my profile pic, but it's not to remind me of the day everything went right in my life. It reminds me that so much of life doesn't turn out the way we hope, but the alternate plan is often just as sweet. It's a reminder to be graceful in defeat. I planned to tell the story of that photo once I got the job offer. And when that job offer didn't come I left the profile pic there until I had a better story to tell. When I look back at that photo now, I don't feel regret or disappointment. I feel gratitude for the opportunities that began to unfold that day, and the graceful rejection that led me to the place I am today.

You've Seen Her....or Have You?

You’ve seen her, probably more than once….that lady walking down the street screaming at everyone in her path. She’s dirty. She smells bad. Her clothes are tattered and she’s always carrying a bag of mystery items.

You’ve seen her. You may have crossed the street when you saw her walking toward you so you didn’t have to make eye contact.  Or maybe it was the smell that led you to seek a different path to your destination.

You’ve seen her.

But here’s what you didn’t see.

You didn’t see the undiagnosed mental illness screaming inside her head. You didn’t see how she wants to get off the street but can’t afford the utility deposit, or first and last month’s rent. You surely didn’t see her get raped last night, even though the frequency at which assault happens to women on the street would make your skin crawl.  And you didn’t see her struggling to get clean while surrounded by street friends that use on a daily basis.

Every person living on the street is more than meets the eye. Every story is a little different, but rest assured that behind every un-showered façade, is a human being. Homeless individuals have become more visible in our community during the past few years. Tent camps popping up along the river and large groups congregating in the park are tough to miss.

We see them. Every day.

What we fail to see is their humanity. What we fail to see is that each complex human has a different prescription for health and healing. For one person, a safe place to sleep each night might be enough to put them on a trajectory toward hope. For another, the silence and solitude of sleeping indoors may feel less safe than camping with a group of trusted friends.  And a bed alone doesn’t begin to address chronic health conditions, low-literacy, addiction, trauma, or other issues that are barriers to health and self-sufficiency. And even when someone is ready to push through all those challenges, they face a monumental hurdle trying to compete for housing in a rental market with less than 5% vacancy. 

So how do we address these human complexities? With complex Care.

Complex Care is a person-centered, interdisciplinary approach to healing. It brings together healthcare, behavioral health, social service and other community systems to better address the full spectrum of human health. By developing authentic relationships with patients, providers are better able to understand and assist with the diverse challenges of each individual.

What does this look like in action?

It could look like John, who initially dropped into Hill Country’s CARE Center to have a cup of coffee and relax on the couch, and eventually became comfortable enough to talk with the staff about his struggle with PTSD. Through therapy and supportive relationships, he gained the confidence and desire to go back to school and pursue a career in mental health.

It could look like Christine who was referred to the WholePerson Care team after visiting the ER for chronic open sores. With transportation assistance and a supportive case manager, Christine was able to keep her doctor’s appointments, properly manage her medical conditions, and enroll in a drug treatment program. When she relapsed, her WPC Manager was there to help her get back on track, and help her secure safe, stable housing.

Complex Care involves seeing people for who they are, meeting them where they are at, and partnering with them on their journey to health. This approach improves patient outcomes, decreases hospitalizations and significantly reduces the healthcare and law enforcement costs of responding to homelessness.

We see the homeless issue every day. Complaining and incarcerating does nothing to solve this challenge. Complex Care is a cost-effective, humane approach that offers real solutions for a broad spectrum of needs.

For more information about complex care, visit:  www.nationalcomplex.care      

Hope, Healing and Health: A Journey of Faith

Editors Note: Over the past three months, I had the opportunity to attend 8 days of professional training with the Center for Mind Body Medicine in Sonoma County. Although I went as a community volunteer sponsored by my church, the program intersects significantly with the consulting work I do with local healthcare organizations. This is a brief overview of my experience. 

Shortly after the Carr Fire ripped through our community last summer, I found myself in a meeting with the Integrated Care Committee, a group of local healthcare leaders working to improve services for those suffering from addiction, mental health challenges, or both. It was clear to all of us that our community was battered by this experience.

This particular group knew more than most about the emotional state of our community before the fire. Rates of addiction, poverty, child abuse and Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE's) in Shasta county are all significantly higher than the state average. The writing was on the wall. We came into this disaster at a distinct disadvantage.  A large percentage of our population was already struggling with chronic stress and emotional trauma.  And then the fire. The feeling of despair was palpable. This group knew their patients and clients would be challenged to manage this new trauma. They also knew their own professional skills and capacity would be stretched thin while providing the extra support necessary to help heal our community.

Instead of trying to re-invent the wheel, we quickly contacted colleagues in Sonoma county to discover how they were working through their own trauma from the Tubbs fire in 2017. This was our introduction to the Center for Mind Body Medicine.

I'll admit, the title of this organization didn't initially strike a chord with me. To be perfectly honest it sounded a little "out there". When I attended the CMBM training in Sonoma county we came up with an official term to describe how this model feels to those that are unfamiliar.  It all sounds a little "woo-woo" (usually said with air quotes and maybe an eye roll).

In spite of my skepticism, I dug in and researched the Center for Mind Body Medicine and their model for community healing.  Initially I was intrigued by the research studies that seemed to show that this stuff really works. In diverse communities such as Houston, New Orleans, Kosovo, Gaza and Haiti, the Center had engaged people in small-groups and taught simple self-care techniques with remarkable, healing results. Then I started reading participant testimonials and watching the YouTube videos of people that have been affected by this work and their experiences sounded hopeful, transformative and genuine.

Ultimately I felt called to attend the CMBM training in Sonoma because I knew our community needed SOMETHING. I knew we were reeling from our fire experience and I felt like maybe there was something in this CMBM model that could help our community heal.

What I didn't realize is how much this training would affect me personally.  I went into the experience fully focused on how to bring back something tangible and healing for our community. What I got was something tangible and healing for myself.

So, what is this "woo-woo" program, exactly? It's learning simple techniques to calm your mind and body. It's coming together in a safe, small-group community to relax and reflect. It's building an understanding of the intricate linkage between mental and physical health. It's exploring spirituality, and embracing your own healing power. It's an invitation to try and experience different things, see how they feel, and find the self-care tools that work for you.  Full disclosure: Everybody isn't going to love every experience. The key is to try it out, be fully present as you participate in the group, and trust the process.

It is NOT therapy.  It is not me or other group participants giving advice or telling you what to do.  It is not about "fixing" you or other people. It is not forcing you to do or say anything. The group experience provides an invitation. Your response to that invitation is completely up to you.

Back in November, before I left town to attend the CMBM training, I didn't know what was to come of this.  It didn't really make sense.  I wasn't sure how it would all turn out.

But I went.

Rarely do we know how a story ends. But often, the story begins with faith and trust.  With letting go.  With not fully understanding the outcome or the journey, but finding the courage to take the first step anyway. In spite of our doubts. In spite of our insecurities.  In spite of the little voice in our head saying, "This all sounds a little woo-woo."

If you're intrigued, or even if you're skeptical, I encourage you to explore the Center for Mind Body Medicine model, or speak to me about joining a small group.  I can't guarantee where the journey will lead.  I can't predict your personal outcome. I don't know what insights will be revealed to you.  I do know that sometimes small miracles come in unexpected places. And the most fruitful journeys are often those that begin even before the final destination is clear.