Sunday, July 14, 2013

Ramblings From the Backseat

I spend a lot of time in the car with my kids.  I take them to school, home from school, on errands, to the park, etc etc etc. 

My car is a total mom-mobile, complete with random water bottles, three weeks worth of school art projects, emergency diapers, crumbs from every snack ever eaten, fingerprints on the windows, and muddy footprints on the back of the drivers seat.  I was the girl that swore her car would never turn into the dirty, cluttered mom-mobile.  Look at me now.  I think that is what motherhood is all about....proving you wrong on every "I never" statement you've ever made.  Just when you think you're boss of your own universe, along come kids to put you in your place. 

But I digress.

So, driving my kids around town is sometimes entertaining.  When there is not screaming or snack eating, there is often witty commentary from the backseat.  Most of it is random, completely out of context, and generally nonsensical.  But it does pass the time and very often makes me smile.  Here is a collection of recent commentary (in no particular order). 

C: (to her 2-year old brother) "You can call mommy's car a truck if you want to.  That would be fine."

What?  Why would we call a car a truck?  It's clearly a car.  This little guy is just beginning to learn the finer aspects of the English language and already big sister is leading him astray.  So when he attends a football game and mistakenly calls it ballet, we'll know who to thank. 

C: "Mommy, when are we going to get new cereal?"

I think the underlying message here is, "When are you going to buy me cereal that looks like a  mini chocolate chip cookie?"  And the answer to that one is, "never."  But I told her we would get new cereal the next time we go to the grocery store.  And that answer seemed to satisfy her momentary sense of urgency about knowing when her next box of cereal would arrive.

T: "Mommy.  Skooo baaaa."
(Translation: Mommy, look, there's a school bus)

He is two.  His contributions to the conversation generally involve identifying objects he sees out the window.  Often I don't understand exactly what he is pointing out, so he repeats it.  Over and over.  And over.  And again.  And then louder.  Until I finally guess what he is trying to say.  Or he gives up and finds another interesting object to dicuss. 

T: "Mommy.  Wa-weee." 
(Translation: Mommy, look, I see some water.)

Got it.  You see water.  This happens often since we have at least four bridges that cross the Sacramento river within 10 miles of our house.  It's hard for me to expand the conversation from there because when I ask him a question back, or identify another interesting object, he usually looks at me with a blank stare. 

C: "Mommy, why can't daddy have a truck like that?"

(actual photo of hideous truck my daughter wants her daddy to have)
So many reasons, kiddo.  So many reasons.  First, it's hideous.  Second, just no.  Not in this lifetime, because I said so, and I'm the mommy, that's why. 

Although now that I think about it, with only a windshield there would certainly be less fingerprints to clean....

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