Parenting in the Age of Coronavirus

Oh Coronavirus. Just a few short weeks ago you were a blip on the radar. A menace in China, half a world away. And today you're knocking on doors across America. No longer can we ignore the news, or the shortages of hand sanitizer.

Concerts are cancelled.
Professional sporting events are cancelled.
Broadway has gone dark.
Schools are closed.
Churches are live-streaming.
International air travel is restricted.
And of course there's the real stuff that will go down in history books...the insane hoarding and subsequent rationing of toilet paper.

Interesting times to be alive, wouldn't you say? Interesting times to be a parent, for sure. Today's challenge: Telling your kids they are fine and not to panic, while the world around them is essentially being turned upside down.

I have tried as much as possible to use this as an opportunity to open up discussion with my kids so they understand what is going on around them. There are two main points I want my kids to understand:

1. If they become sick, they probably have nothing to worry about. They'll be sick and then get over it.

2. Some people won't be so lucky. Some people will die. And for this reason, we are all doing our part to keep this virus contained as much as possible.

By isolating ourselves we can keep the virus from spreading quickly. We can buy some time, slow things down and give our healthcare facilities a fighting chance to help those that will get REALLY sick when the virus hits.

These are big, somewhat abstract concepts to teach to kids. There is this mystery virus circulating, that is probably not a huge risk to them personally, but a very big risk to people that they may never meet. And in spite of kids being relatively safe, they are asked to make significant lifestyle changes for the good of the order.

What a beautiful teaching moment we have for our kids.

We're all going to be inconvenienced.

Do we bitch and moan about every inconvenience, or use this as an opportunity to be models of grace and compassion?

Do we panic in the face of uncertainty or do our best to embrace the unknown and adjust as rules and directives change?

Do we turn inward and focus only on keeping our own family safe, or do we take time to check in with neighbors and friends to see if they need help weathering this season of uncertainty?

Do we break the rules because we aren't personally at risk, or do we do our part to keep EVERYONE healthy.

I understand it's a lot. This whole situation is just a LOT.

And also, the kids are watching. They are wondering if they should panic. They are learning about how to behave when the going gets tough. They are noticing how much energy we spend on blaming and how much we spend on doing. They are taking note of how many hours we spend on social media or obsessing over the news vs. how present we are for them during this time of uncertainty. They have questions that they may never ask if we don't take the time to pause, look them in the eye, and ask them how they are doing.

Nobody ever, anywhere, at any time ever said that parenting would be easy. And now, as most of us face WEEKS alone at home with our children (while simultaneously trying to work remotely so we can still pay the rent) let's remember that we signed up for this. We created these little humans and they are now looking to us, in this weird, uncertain, stressful time. Let's show them we are people of grace. Compassion. Patience. Love. Community (with appropriate social distancing). Let's do our best to take advantage of this teaching moment that has dropped in our laps.

I give this pep talk as much for myself as for anyone else. I'm not excited about the weeks ahead (especially given the forecast of rain that we have locally and the fact that I will have to go out and hunt Toilet Paper soon.) I love my kids, and I love my work, but when I try to attend to both of those at the same time, it makes me a little insane. So the weeks ahead feel a little daunting. I plan to do a lot of praying. Some deep breathing. And a lot of disco dance parties, walks, talks, and hugs with these two precious humans that I don't have to isolate myself from. I have faith that the cries of boredom will eventually bloom into creativity. And thats one thing that I love to see.

Just as long as they use the TP sparingly.

PS...

If you're looking for educational resources for kids, there's a great list here.

If you need help, or you're in a position to help others during the weeks ahead, consider signing up for the C19 Help Squad.